My Husband Abuses Me… I Don’t Know If I Should Stay or Leave

It’s not easy for me to write this, but I feel trapped. My husband drinks heavily, every single day. He doesn’t work, spends his time in bars, and comes home drunk—angry, aggressive, yelling. Sometimes he pushes me, grabs me roughly, and calls me names in front of our children. I’m exhausted.

He’s cheated on me more than once. I’ve seen the messages, I’ve heard the lies. Every time, he promises to change. And every time, I forgive him—not because I’m weak, but because I have two young kids and I don’t know what else to do. I’m scared. I’m stuck.

When he’s sober, he says he loves us. But then the cycle begins again. I live in constant anxiety, not knowing which version of him will walk through the door each night. My kids are starting to notice. That hurts more than anything.

My family doesn’t know the full story. I’m ashamed. I’m afraid of being judged, afraid of being a single mom, afraid of starting over. But I’m even more afraid of what this environment is doing to my children—and to me.

I don’t know if I should stay in this marriage for their sake… or walk away and face everything alone. Either way, I feel like I’ll suffer. I just don’t know which path will hurt less.

Maybe someone out there has been through this. Maybe someone can help me see what I can’t. I’m not asking for much… just a little light in the dark.